"He Said, 'I Want My Mummy!'"

Well, I can add this to a list of long answers to questions I've never asked: What is the world's oldest joke? After years of painstaking work (I assume it was painstaking, at least), we have our answer. Here 'tis:

"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

Pah! Sumerians always go for the cheap laughs. I prefer this submission from the Egyptians, circa 1600 BC:

"How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

The fact that these jokes still exist today is living proof that Darwin's theory of natural selection does not apply to humor.