Tora Bora—A skiing vacation you’ll never forget, assuming you make it out of there alive
Cornville, Iowa—Come for the yellow corn, stay for the white corn
Pea Ridge Civil War Battlefield—The rockingest battlefield this side of Murfreesboro!
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Cancun—You really won’t be able to believe it!
Newark—If you pronounce it just right, it’ll sound like you spent your spring break in New York
Amsterdam—Things have gotten awfully tame since the government banned drug-soaked orgies in the streets after six in the evening
San Diego—Careful; ever since the budget crisis, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has been randomly assaulting visitors and stealing their money
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