Dear Sir,
The issue of cleaning the peanut-butter and banana stains out of your purchase has become irrelevant. Sadly, we have been forced to terminate your purchase. The original owner has reappeared and demanded the return of his property.
We apologize for the unbelievable inconvenience. We feel very, very bad for you, and we hope you will continue to do business with us in the future.
Sincerely,
Those Guys You Bought That Stuff From
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