Thursday, August 14, 2008

"It's That Kurt Russell Move, Right?"

Headline: "Pope Recognizes Miracle." Well, that's why we hired him, right?

Which leads me to wonder: do they have job interviews for the papacy?

Interviewer: What would you say your greatest strength is?

Hopeful: Well, I look very good in white. I've read the Children's Bible back-to-back--twice. I'm a hard worker, although I do tend to take Sundays off.

Interviewer: Hmmm...

Hopeful: What?

Interviewer: Oh, nothing. Keep going.

Hopeful: Oh, I was gonna add that I spent a few years as a freelance pope with a minor cult down in Texas, so I've got some laying-of-the-hands-on-experience.

Interviewer: And your weaknesses?

Hopeful: I'm not actually a Catholic.

Interviewer: Well, that would've been a problem a few years back, but the EEOC's changed a few things. Now, do you have a favorite saint?

Hopeful: Uhhh...St. Jesus.

Interviewer: (Pause) Get out.

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