Will’s Post-Preseason Football Poll Top 11 Minus 1

1. Ohio State—If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. If at second you don’t succeed, try, try again. And if at third you don’t succeed, you’re probably Jim Tressel and the Ohio State Buckeyes.
2. Georgia—The Bulldogs have a lot of pressure, especially now that coach Mark Richt has declared he will kill himself if they don’t win the championship.
3. USC—Man, is that defense great. No, it’s better than great, it’s phenomenal. No, no, it’s perfect. That defense is so impenetrable, I don’t know why USC is even bothering to field an offense. The defense is just that good.
4. Oklahoma—Bob Stoops looks to reclaim his old nickname, “Big Game Bob,” and lose his current one, “Bob the Stupid Goddamn Idiot Who Always Chokes During Big Games.”
5. Florida—Hey, have you heard about this Tim Tebow kid? He’s really one of the buried treasures of the college football. A real diamond in the rough, this guy.
6. Missouri—Chase Daniel is proving that there’s a place for short quarterbacks in modern football. Specifically, that place is in round 7 of the NFL draft followed by a brief career with the Edmonton Eskimos.
7. West Virginia—Pat White really is a do-everything quarterback. He passes, he runs, he tackles, he returns kicks, he makes kicks, he shoots 50% from behind the arc, he bats above .300, he can fly, he can shoot lasers from his nose…
8. Clemson—It looks like Tommy Bowden is going to avoid his father’s career path—an era of greatness followed by a gradual decline—by skipping the whole “era of greatness” part.
9. Auburn—Good news: Auburn looks ready to reassert its position as the best damn school in Alabama. Bad news: those two little words in Alabama.
10. Texas Tech—Look for Texas Tech’s offense to greatly improve when they upgrade their air assault from a figurative assault with a football to an actual assault with stealth bombers.