Hi, my name's Richard "Rocky" Barolucci, and I'll be teaching Crime 101: From Arson to Zamboni-Stealing. I hope you all have the books you need for this course. If not, I'll be sending around a list of local stores from which you can steal the necessary texts.
First, we must ask ourselves, "What is crime?" Crime cannot be defined on its own. We must break it up into smaller, more easily digestible chunks. So let's ask a simpler question, "What is robbery?" Robbery, for those of you who are new to the concept, is the forcible taking of something of value which does not belong to you.
Now, I want to make this very clear. In a robbery, you TAKE something of value, like jewelry or a wallet. You never, ever, ever want to LEAVE BEHIND something of value. That is not crime, boys and girls. That is sheer stupidity.
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