Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Young Adolescent Snatching

A Delaware boy ended up miles from home after getting into the wrong car and falling asleep. I have three reactions to this story:

1. This is probably the biggest news story to come out of Delaware since...oh, I guess that whole business with Caesar Rodney and the Declaration of Independence

2. This is a sign that humans are weak and are doomed to lose the war against nature. Why, the animals in Homeward Bound found their way home across mountains, rivers, and deserts. This kid didn't even leave the state, and he still needed the cops to bring him back! The lesson: begin abandoning your children at an early age. Only then will they be able to learn.

3. This happened to me once. But I'm pretty sure it was intentional on the part of my parents. I got a bit too pushy in asking for a raise in my allowance, and the next thing I knew I was being crammed into the trunk of a strange car.

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