Deep Thoughts on the Men's Relay Gold

WOOOOO! IN YOUR FACE, FRANCE! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Now, for a few somewhat deeper thoughts. I don't care for swimming as a sport. In fact, I don't even really like it as an idea. It's nearly impossible to see what's going on--all I can see is splashes. Everybody looks the same aside from their rainbow-colored speedos and caps. And unless someone is blowing the field away, it's tough to even figure out who's winning.

Then you've got to factor in the commentary, which is constantly raising the bar for sports-related inanity. Sample:

Commentator #1: "Boy, they're going fast, aren't they?"
Commentator #2: "Yes, but look how fast that one guy's going."
Commentator #1: "True that."
Me: "For the love of God, just tell me who's in the lead!"

And yet...I watched the whole relay last night. And it...was...thrilling. When Lezak incredibly--improbably--impossibly beat out Bernard, I bellowed so loudly my cat ran for cover. I think he's still traumatized.

I guess I've been unfair to swimming. Sure, some races might be dull, but that doesn't mean they're all snoozers. So, in conclusion: I guess I'd better start watching more swimming. Maybe...maybe it's not as bad as I thought. And coming from me, that's a heck of an admission.

We now conclude today's "Deep Thoughts," sponsored today by Speedo, for when your bathing suit just isn't revealing enough.