Some Questions Don't Need Asking

But Wired magazine goes ahead and asks them anyway. In this case, the question is "What Sort of D&D Character would John McCain be?" One commenter suggests a "gelatinous cube."

I'm inclined to think of him as some kind of wizened old halfling warlock, probably chaotic neutral. He would carry the Maverick Blade and could protect himself behind the Shield of Media Invulnerability. Mounted astride his noble horse Straight Talk, McCain rides in his never-ending pursuit of the White Castle (not the burger place, of course).

Beware, though! He carries the dreaded W Curse, which will drain 5 poll points each media cycle if he fails to make a successful distancing roll.