Headline: "Pope Recognizes Miracle." Well, that's why we hired him, right?
Which leads me to wonder: do they have job interviews for the papacy?
Interviewer: What would you say your greatest strength is?
Hopeful: Well, I look very good in white. I've read the Children's Bible back-to-back--twice. I'm a hard worker, although I do tend to take Sundays off.
Interviewer: Hmmm...
Hopeful: What?
Interviewer: Oh, nothing. Keep going.
Hopeful: Oh, I was gonna add that I spent a few years as a freelance pope with a minor cult down in Texas, so I've got some laying-of-the-hands-on-experience.
Interviewer: And your weaknesses?
Hopeful: I'm not actually a Catholic.
Interviewer: Well, that would've been a problem a few years back, but the EEOC's changed a few things. Now, do you have a favorite saint?
Hopeful: Uhhh...St. Jesus.
Interviewer: (Pause) Get out.
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