Little-Known Patron Saints

Saint Vlad—Patron saint of Satanism; the Vatican’s still not quite sure how he slipped through the screening process

Saint Grgeyor—Patron saint of dyslexia

Saint Patron—Patron saint of meta-humor

Saint Luke—Used to be patron saint of physicians, but has temporarily been bumped back to patron saint of physicians’ assistants as a result of a spat with God

Saint Norman—Patron saint of itches you really want to scratch but can’t quite reach, no matter how hard you stretch

Saint Elsewhere—Patron saint of gritty, underfunded hospitals in the south side of Boston