Bow down and repent, nonbelievers! Allah has made his all-powerful and all-knowing munificence felt in the form of zucchini! For is it not written in the Book of Signs that "When the name of God is writ in the holy script upon the leaves of a large green vegetable, then tremble and fear, for the world shall end soon after"?*
This poses a crisis of faith for me. I've been a strict Catholic ever since I saw the Virgin Mary on a grilled cheese sandwich. Which food comes higher on the theological hierarchy--zucchini or grilled cheese?
*No, it is not. And there is no Book of Signs, for good measure
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