From Cracked comes a list of the "6 Most Pathetic Attempts to Get Super Bowl Tickets." I'm particularly charmed by the case of the Troy Polamalu lookalike who, in return for tickets, will do anything you ask, up to and including "Repair your computer," "Entertain you by performing a stupid dance," and "Bang your wife." However, he won't "cut his hair or kill anyone." Whew! Thank God he has SOME standards.
Though I guess I shouldn't laugh. After all, this year I made my own fairly pathetic attempt to get to the Super Bowl. Now the story can be told: a few days ago, I took an Amtrak down to Tampa and tried to pass myself off as Kurt Warner. And it almost worked! Things were going great, until they caught on and yanked me in the third quarter.
By the way, I really didn't mean to throw that interception that got picked off for a 100-yard touchdown return. Seriously. Total mistake.
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