Saturday, September 13, 2008

A Bum's Life

After reading this story, I've made up my mind. Forget college! I'm going to be a Beverly Hills bum. Let's take a look at some of the advantages:

-"There are handouts of $2,000 and bottles of Dom Perignon"
Well, it's a step up from peppermint schnapps, that's for sure.

-"Lucky finds of Gucci shoes and diamond-encrusted bracelets"
PLEASE HELP. NEED NEW PAIR OF GUCCI SHOES. CURRENT PAIR HALF A SIZE TOO SMALL. ALSO SIX MONTHS OUT OF STYLE. GOD BLESS.

-"A chance to rub shoulders with rich and famous locals such as Mark Wahlberg and Master P"
And really, isn't it every bum's dream to meet Master P? Well, that, and to find a warm place to sleep and some likker.

I just love the idea of some upper-crust bum snobs who look down on the workaday bums in L.A. and Oakland. I think there's potential for a great movie here, or at the very least a mildly amusing sitcom.

"Coming soon on NBC, it's...Bum Deal, with Patrick Warburton as Aloysius P. Bumley!"

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