The Olympics: Bound for Glory

With the Olympics leaping upon us like a large leaping thing, I thought it was time to introduce you to some of the lesser known athletes competing for glory, immortality, and the possibility of Wheaties endorsements.

I won’t be covering Michael Phelps, because every newspaper from The New York Times on down to the North Cow’s Butt Gazette has already done a write-up on America’s favorite human/dolphin hybrid. Why, just today, my hometown newspaper contained no less than twelve stories on Phelps—four in the sports section, three in the national news, two each in the local news and the lifestyle pages, and one, improbably, in the classified section.

No, I’m going to cover some of the lesser athletes. The ones who won’t make ESPN or the cover of Sports Illustrated. The ones who won’t be interviewed by Bob Costas or Andrea Kramer. The ones who won’t do crowd-pleasing things like “win medals” or “place in top twenty” or “not get disqualified for shooting up with illegal stimulants designed for bull elephants.”

They’re the scrapers, the dreamers, the do-anything types. And in the end, aren’t they what the Olympics are all about? No, not actually. But in the end, aren’t we all rooting for them? Again, no. But in the end, don’t they deserve some attention? Probably not. But…maybe I’d better stop this before I get depressed.

Expect future installments to be appearing in the future!