"I promise to remember to take out the trash on Tuesday evenings, even if it means missing a couple minutes of the Bulls game."
"I promise that every man, woman, and child can hit me in the face with a whipped-cream pie if I don't pass a health care bill in the next six months."
"I promise to return Reggie's mix tape. Sorry, Reggie."
"I promise to tell people how I really feel. Let me start by saying that you--all of you, in Congress and watching on television--are morons. Utter morons."
"I promise to stop crossing my fingers when I promise things."
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