MOZZARELLA STICKS
1. Get 2 ounces of mozzarella cheese
2. Microwave cheese on "low" for two minutes, or on "high" for fifteen seconds, depending on how patient you are
3. Go out into the backyard
4. Collect two dozen sticks of various shapes and sizes
5. Bring the sticks inside and dip them, fondue-style, in the bowl of melted mozzarella
6. Enjoy, if you can
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