Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Strangers in Need

Question of the day: why do so many tourists ask me for directions? There have been at least half a dozen during the summer, and three today. I don't mind, though I do feel sorry for the chumps who think I'm giving them good advice. Mostly I point and grunt. Sometimes I no sympathetically.

I have given some (too much) thought to the matter. Here are few critical factors:

1. I'm wearing a tie. This gives me DC street cred.

2. On the other hand, I'm young-ish, which means I'm not important, which in turn means I probably won't act too condescending.

3. I walk slowly, making me easy to flag down.

4. My walk--a slump-shouldered, hunchbacked shuffle--looks amusing and, more important, non-threatening.

5. I look smart (This thesis was considered and rejected).

6. I am good looking (Rejected even faster than the suggestion above).

7. Unlike DC's many crazy people, I do not talk to myself as I walk (Rejected, because I do, in fact, talk to myself as I walk, making me look like the world's best-dressed schizophrenic).

8. Did I mention I have a tie? It's a really nice tie.

1 comment:

KathyS said...

LOL!!reminds me of great story in NYT this week--a native NYer was approached by a group of Italian tourists looking for the subway to Grand Central. the native NYer was exhausted from the unrelenting heat and had to take a moment to get her bearings. she said rather than gesture and attempt to point them to the right platform she walked them to the "correct train", put them on, and walked away. once she got into some AC and chilled, she realized that she had put the unsuspecting tourists on a train...a train to Brooklyn!
so as long as you're not sending people to Anacostia instead of Arlington you're doing ok.