A Taste of New Jersey

Apologies for the light blogging--I spent the weekend with relatives in New Jersey and did my best to escape any and all responsibilities. Now I'm back and badder than ever. Or at the very least, less good than ever.

My weekend was an extended exercise in gluttony on a scale not seen since the Roman Empire. I ate my weight in junk food several times over. But it was more than simple greed--it was a learning experience. It gave me the chance to sample some delicacies--or "delicacies"--unique to the Garden State.

First up, Taylor ham. It might sound like a country singer. Don't be fooled, though; Taylor ham is actually a sausage-like substance capable of clogging arteries at five yards. Imagine ham, only thicker, meatier, and with a stronger flavor. I ate it with maple-flavored sausages, which were meant to evoke the flavor of a pancake-and-pork-link breakfast scramble but tasted more like someone spilled Mrs. Butterworth in a sausage factory.

Second, doughnuts from Delran's L&M Bakery. I am never going back to Dunkin' or Krispy Kreme. I refuse. I am a convert to the church of L&M. All other doughnut shops are guilty of foul heresy. We also got doughnuts from Wegman's, the Yankee Food Lion. Not at all bad. They aced the cruller, always the true test of bakery prowess. A bad cruller tastes like styrofoam, only less edible.

Last, soft pretzels. The Northeast is famous for its pretzels. People come from miles around to buy paper bags loaded with slimy-salty Philly soft pretzels. As for these ones...eh...could have been worse. They delivered salted carbohydrate goodness. Really, what more do you want from a pretzel? A lecture in the political economy of nineteenth-century America?

Stay tuned for my mini-review of "The Social Network." To put it in mini-mini-mini review terms: good movie. Watch.