Looking for a bit of gloom to darken your eggnog this season? Well, here's a story for you. A British vicar (side note: do British vicars do anything aside from stirring up controversy) has re-written "The Twelve Days of Christmas" to make it more soul-crushing depressing. Er, pardon me, more socially conscious. The lyrics in full:
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Twelve soldiers serving
Eleven lottery losers
Ten hoodies hollering
Nine single mothers
Eight AIDS victims
Seven shoppers struggling
Six carers caring
Five repossessings
Four calling canmen
Three starving children
Two addicts shaking
And a poor homeless refugee
A few reactions from me:
1) Being a soldier is as bad as having AIDS, apparently.
2) What's a canmen? And why is it bad when they call you?
3) If a carer didn't care, what would you call them?
4) Most importantly, what kind of sick bastard is your true love anyway?
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