Sunday, December 14, 2008

Proposed Rescue Plans for the Big Three

-Slash employee health benefits; workers can only pick three diseases for which they are covered, and one of them has to be Ebola

-Search for alternative fuels like wind, solar power, and pushing

-Get rid of the giant pit in GM headquarters into which GM execs would hurl billions of dollars every financial quarter

-Package every car with a free ticket to a Detroit Lions game

-Cupholders...just gotta add more cupholders

-Cut the number of wheels per car back to three

-Ask for $50 billion from the government and use that money to buy Nissan, Toyota, Honda, et al.

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