Short, humiliating story: I left the dorm early this morning to meet a couple friends for breakfast. It was raining, so I opened up my raggedy black umbrella and started sloshing north toward the Metro.
While walking, I tend to keep my eyes focused on the ground, so as to prevent even the remotest possibility of human contact. For once, my unsociability came in handy. I looked down and noticed that something seemed...peculiar.
My brain, slowed by the early hour and by the lack of food, ground its way through a complex series of equations and returned the answer: Will, you are wearing two mismatched shoes. In my hurry to get out, I had put a running shoe on my left foot and a beat-up old sneaker on the right.
The moral of the story? If you are me, you are an idiot.
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