The Will Schultz Cookbook

Bailout Bread

1. First, get an egg.

2. Actually, make that two eggs.

3. No, no, four eggs. This is going to be some hefty bread.

4. OK, five eggs, but that’s it, I swear.

5. Then again, while we’ve got the carton out, we might as well take all twelve eggs.

6. And if the bread’s going to be so big, it’d be shame to let those other cartons go to waste…so make it thirty-six eggs.

7. Forty eggs, to make it a nice round number.

8. Forty-one, though, because my friend Gary is coming over, so we need to make sure there’s enough for him.

9. Man, Gary’s a pretty big guy…forty-five eggs, then.

10. Crap, we need to get back up to a round number. Fifty eggs.

11. Do they sell eggs in ten-egg cartons? We might not be able to get to fifty eggs. Let’s see, twelve times five…hmmm…that brings us up to sixty eggs.

12. OK, we done with the eggs? Good. Now, we need some yeast. Let’s see…does any place around here rent dump trucks?