Friday, August 20, 2010

Mommy Dearest

Bereaved Son: (Sobbing)

Undertaker: May I help you?

Son: Yes...my mother passed away yesterday.

Undertaker: I'm sorry for your loss. May I interest you in one of our nationally renowned body disposal--er, I mean holistic whole body de-integration--services?

Son: What have you got?

Undertaker: The TurboTron 50X is one of our most popular coffin models. It features a plush interior, soothing Muzak, and a LetMeOuttaHere (TM) insta-alarm in case your mother turns out to be less dead than she appears.

Son: How much is it?

Undertaker: $50,000 for the basic model, $75,000 for the deluxe.

Son: What's the difference?

Undertaker: In the deluxe model, the insta-alarm actually works.

Son: What about cremation?

Undertaker: Certainly. With our Diamond Deluxe (TM) cremation service, your mother's body will be lightly toasted before being compressed into a precious diamond.

Son: Sounds pricey.

Undertaker: Sir, we believe that no price is too steep for a kitschy and somewhat grotesque means of body disposal. It will cost you $80,000.

Son: Geez! Why don't I just get rid of the body myself? It'd be cheaper!

Undertaker. Oh, I'd like to see you try. What are you going to do, shove your mom inside a backpack?

Son: Maybe I will!

1 comment:

Benstrider said...

I was really hoping this wouldn't end in a link.