In order to combat the ever-present elephant threat, African park rangers have begun using mobile phone technology. If an elephant gets too close to a village, then BANG! Their cell-equipped collar will send a text message to the nearest ranger.
My only question: what telephone plan do these elephants have? How many minutes do they get? Can they send messages nights and weekends? Hey, that'd make a nice commercial for Verizon or some other phone company:
SMILING VILLAGER: Thanks to Verizon, I'm always warned when a rampaging elephant is about to storm my village!
SMILING RANGER: Thanks to Verizon, I'm always able to keep the elephants in line!
SMILING POACHER: Thanks to Verizon, I profit double from every elephant I kill: I get their tusks and a free cell phone!
Wait, scratch that last one.
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