Stewart Mandel wonders why Notre Dame has decided to give football coach and Frank Caliendo impersonation-to-be Charlie Weis another year. His answer? The Fighting Irish have decided to lower their standards. A lot. A whoooooole lot.
Let me take off my "blogger hat" for a moment and put on my "pompous football pundit who knows next to nothing about the sport." Retaining Charlie Weis isn't a case of standards being lowered. It's a case of standards being bound, gagged, dragged out behind the prison, and shot point-blank in the back of the head.
Let me offer you a peep inside the Charlie Weis playbook.
OFFENSE
Default Play: Brady Quinn long pass to Jeff what's-his-face
IF Jeff what's-his-face is covered--
1) Get sacked
2) Throw interception
3) Get sacked after throwing an interception
IF Brady Quinn has graduated--
1) Lose game
2) Sorry, no other options available
DEFENSE
Are we playing USC?
IF Yes--
1) Forget it. Just forget it.
IF No--
1) Yeah, I'm still not feeling it.
SPECIAL TEAMS
Default Play: Screw up any way you possibly can.
You see? How can the Irish expect to win any more than a quarter of a game every season with this guy? As somebody who roots for the Irish--out of religious compulsion, I should add--I'm extremely disappointed. Touchdown Jesus is crying right now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment