Can He...Beat It?

"Michael Jackson 'left half blind and in need of a lung transplant by genetic disease," claims biographer."

Hmmm. Not to make light of this situation, but I'm going to make light of it. I have several reactions:

1. Can you perform a cross-species lung transplant? Jacko might need it, as right now I'd estimate he's only 33% human.

2. Or...perhaps he could get a lung from Bubbles? On a related note, is Bubbles still alive? On another related note, did Bubbles ever exist, or was he just a bizarre feature of that bizarre Michael Jackson video game I played as a kid?

3. Jackson has been forced to auction off his glittery glove for cash. My question: how does the buyer know that it's THE glove? What's to stop Jacko from buying two dozen gloves, a bag of sequins, some glue, and selling that same glove again and again?

4. Boy, I really put too much work into a post about Michael Jackson.