Most Americans know about "Christmas crackers" only from reading Harry Potter or, if they're serious Anglophiles, from watching Mr. Bean. These crackers bear no resemblance to a Ritz or a Cheez-It. As far as I can tell, a cracker is a miniature firework that you detonate by pulling on it. British people seem to find this "fun" in the same way they find beefsteak "delicious" and Robbie Williams "talented."
But wait, there's more! Each cracker comes with a little joke hidden inside, as if it were a pyrotechnic fortune cookie. Yet over the past few years those jokes have gotten a little...stale. If this BBC story is accurate, the writers really had to scrape the bottom of the joke barrel. For instance: "Q: What country has a good appetite? A: Hungary." HA HA HA HA OH STOP IT BEFORE I DIE LAUGHING!
Things have to change. People expect quality from their crackers, dammit. They don't want any old pun. They want real jokes, good stuff like "How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code!" So the cracker-company is rewriting all the old, lame puns and replacing them with new, slightly-less-lame puns. I'm left with one question: how do you get the job of "Christmas-cracker-joke writer"? And where can I apply?
OK, I have one other question. One of the newer, hipper jokes goes: "What is Rudolph's favorite day of the year? Red Nose Day!" What the hell? Discuss.
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