Ain't That a Kicker in The Head?

Do kickers have the best job in the NFL--or the worst? Most people, I think, would say the kicker has it easy. You only come out 8-10 times each game, tops. If anybody on the other team touches you with more force than is required to open a Coke can, BANG! Eight-yard penalty. Barring a freak accident, you'll never get concussed. You'll never have to run anywhere, unless it's to the locker room to escape death-by-crushing after you kick a winning field goal. Exercise? Who needs it all? You just need to work on propelling a ball a couple dozen yards with your foot. Get that down and you're golden. Oh, did I mention you can play for approximately forever? Jason Elam was waived by the Atlanta Falcons this season, but before that he played for 45 consecutive seasons. He was in the league back when the Washington Redskins were still called the Washington Red Savages, for goodness sakes!

But...I don't know if any position in sports has a shorter leash than an NFL kicker. Consider the case of poor Shaun Suisham. A few weeks ago Shaun lived happily as a Washington Redskin, kicking things to his heart's content. But in a game against the then-undefeated New Orleans saints, he missed a field goal which would have iced the game for Washington. The Saints came marching in and won the game in overtime, 33-30. The very next day, the national unemployment rate went up by .0001% as Shaun found himself carrying a cardboard sign reading "Will kick things for $$$."

The lesson? Kickers have no margin for error. If Kobe Bryant--or hell, even Luke Walton--goes into a shooting slump tomorrow, the Lakers aren't going to toss him out onto Sepulveda Boulevard. If Ben Roethlisberger throws three picks in a game, he won't wind up smelting steel from 9-to-5. But if a kicker misses a must-have field goal? Or worse, a must-have extra point? He'd better start printing out the ol' resume, because it's back to the bread line for him.