The New York Post, Ladies and Gentlemen!

I haven't even read the story, but I couldn't pass up a headline like this:

"TWO SUITS VS. JAILED PERVERT"

Coming next: "GODZILLA VS. JAILED PERVERT"

"ALIEN VS. PREDATOR VS. JAILED PERVERT"

"KRAMER VS. JAILED PERVERT"

The possibilities are endless!