Potential Host Cities for the 2016 Olympics

Des Moines—The Des Moines Tourism Board admits that it’s a longshot, but they’re not giving up hope

Baghdad—As an incentive for the Iraqis to get their act together by 2016

Las Vegas—Their odds of getting it currently stand at 3:1

My Friend Steve’s—Aw, yeah, Steve has a pool, and we could hold the swimming events out there, and he’s right by the soccer field, and he’s got a big rec room for the opening ceremonies, it’d be so great

Peking—“What? They’re different cities, we swear!”

Chernobyl—A celebration of healing on the 30^th anniversary of the disaster; medals will be awarded in lead, uranium, and plutonium varieties

Mitt Romney—Whoops, wrong list