I made a lousy teenager--I never rebelled against anything. I didn't ignore my parents, didn't mock my teachers, didn't flout the law with abandon. Looking back, I realize that I wasted my prime "rebellious asshole" years. It's the last time you can get away with things like that.
Time to make up for lost ground. I hereby vow to rebel against society and all its perverted works. And what better way to start than by ignoring those paper fascists some people call expiration dates? Stick it to the man, man!
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